SandCastle1Sustainable work-life balance is one of the greatest challenges of today’s leaders who want to have a meaningful career, to make time for the family and friends, travel, play, and develop interests outside of work. Often, as soon as you manage to create a pocket of time where there’s a fair balance between work and play, inevitably, something happens to throw you off balance again:

Your child comes down with a fever, and you have to take time away from your work, time that you feel you simply don’t have, since you’ve had everything figured out to the minute.

You client changes the specs of the project again, just as you thought that the project is nearly completed. You’re back to the drawing board, having to find 20 extra hours at the expense of something else.

Your star performer leaves the team, just when you found a comfortable routine for shared work.

There’s a massive layoff at your company, and suddenly, priorities shift.SandCastle2

You have a work-life balance rhythm all figured out, and then you find yourself in the middle of selling a house, buying a house, dealing with a health crisis, starting school, having your children start school, getting a promotion, integrating your partner’s job loss…

You are back to ground zero in terms creating a new work-life balance.

Why doesn’t work-life balance seem to be sustainable?

Why can’t you just figure it out once and for all, with a reliable, reusable formula?

You are in a war zone: it’s you vs. entropy.

Entropy refers to the idea that everything has a natural tendency to move from order to disorder. Resources such as energy, work, attention, and time need to be applied in order to prevent things from moving toward chaos.

For example, think about cleaning your house: if you never make an effort to put things away or clean, your home will turn into an unmanageable mess.

If you never comb through your email inbox, eventually, you won’t be able to find anything amidst spam and irrelevant messages.

How does the idea of entropy apply to your work-life balance? Think of your work-life balance as a sand castle on the beach.

If you leave your “work-life balance sand castle” alone, it will very quickly deteriorate due to the wind, the waves, and the passers-by. If you want your sand castle to stand over time, it seems normal and natural to constantly apply effort to sustain it, and protect it from the elements. Similarly, work-life balance requires consistent evaluation of your current priorities.

The weather changes all the time. Even if your “work-life balance sand castle” is perfect for now, you have no control over external conditions that will inevitably affect it. You can complain about the weather as much as you want, but the bottom line is that you know there will be windy days and rainy days; you know that he waves will come in. Adjust, and remember that you will have to keep adjusting your sand castle, no matter how perfect it seems to be.

You get to create the kind of work-life sand castle that fits You. It is meaningless to compare your sand castle to other people’s sand castles. One can’t have The Best work-life balance, much like one can’t have The Best sand castle. Some sand castles are taller, which doesn’t make them better; others are more intricate, which also doesn’t make them better as it may be more difficult to maintain; some castles will be closer to the water, while others – further. Each option has its advantages and disadvantages, depending on the architect’s vision and needs. Your work-life balance has to look good to You.

There will be time when your work-life balance sand castle will get completely washed away, and you will need to start building it from scratch. There will be times when you’re too tired or sleepy to do rebuild; there will be times when you simply won’t care as much, and so, you will temporarily let go… Don’t expect your castle to stand there waiting for you in the exact conditions in which you left it when you stepped away. When you’re ready to come back to rebuilding your castle, you’ll possibly need to start from scratch, making adjustments for the current circumstances in your life.

Your internal criteria for the perfect work-life sand castle will keep changing. Every time you touch up the castle, it won’t be the same castle anymore. With every adjustment against entropy, you’re creating a new castle in the attempts to rebuild the old one. It’s normal and natural.

There’s no sand castle that you can build that will stand forever, or serve your purpose forever.

Similarly, there is no sustainable work-life balance formula that will work for you throughout your lifetime. It will always be a work in progress.

If you absolutely need a rule of thumb, try this: put your energy, time and attention on what matters most to you at the moment. This way, in each moment, you’ll feel that you’re doing what matters.

You will let go and start again, many times. Try to take each battle against entropy separately. You’ll win some, and you’ll lose some.

There is no end game. There is no “work vs. life”, there is just life.

We are all just playing in the sand.

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Would you like to offer programs on applied intuition or personal energy management in your organization? Please, send me a message if you’re interested, and we’ll set up time to talk about making some corporate magic happen for you.

I’m in the process of re-branding, combining executive coaching and intuition aspects of my business. (If you want to play, take a look at these logos, one of which will probably become The One for me. Let me know what you think! )

I already have new offers in the store for you, but they are not up on the website yet (work in progress; please, be patient). For as long as the old rates are up on the site – please, take advantage!  And I Will incorporate intuitive work into current packages if you request it.  Take a look: Big Decision Coaching Package (3 sessions to help you make and implement a difficult decision that feels good to you). If you are anxious to find out about the new packages, please, send me a note! 

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We change all the time. germinationThe change is often so gradual that we don’t notice it until it erupts spontaneously, like a volcano, spilling into our lives, and burning on its way everything familiar.

One morning, as you dress for work, you notice that your suit is surprisingly too small (or too large).

After months of the same workout routine, you just decide that you’ve had enough, and need a change, seemingly for no reason at all.

You get annoyed with your sister, rudely interrupting her as she retells the same version of a family story that you’ve heard from her for years, even though the story never seemed to bother you before.

You may notice that something important is missing from your relationship, even though nothing has changed for years, and you can’t quite pinpoint what that missing piece is.

Your exciting job may suddenly seem mundane and meaningless.

You suddenly realize that something is missing from your life in general, even though it seemed perfectly fine just yesterday.

Realization of this shift from acceptance to discontent can catch you off guard.

Your loved ones and your colleagues are just as puzzled by your sudden dissatisfaction:

“All this time, everything was fine. You had no problem with any of this yesterday. Why, suddenly, there’s a problem now?! What happened?!”

What happened is that you’ve changed.

You’ve been changing all along.

You just haven’t noticed it until now, like a kid, who is suddenly surprised to be able to reach the sink without a stepping stool.

You’ve changed inside, and are realizing that your external self, your environment doesn’t fit your changing essential self anymore. The sleeves are too short, the pace is too fast, the signal is too weak for the new you.

You want to make changes in your life in order to support and reflect the new you, to keep the harmony between your inner world and your environment. (Here are some ideas for where to start when you need a change.)

It takes courage to say “I have changed”, to leave behind the familiar set-up that doesn’t work for you anymore.

It is simply not sustainable to continue fitting the new you into the old environment.

Keeping the clothes of the wrong size, trying to motivate yourself at a job that doesn’t make you grow anymore, staying in a relationship that feels draining won’t make you feel content or satisfied, no matter how much time passes. Plus you will pay for this mismatch between your new you and your old environment with your declining physical and mental health.

You’ve changed.

I’ve changed as well.

As a result, I’m doing something that feels scary: I am rebranding my coaching practice to fully embrace and incorporate intuition and energy work that I’ve been doing. (You will see the results of this process shortly, but feel free to email and ask me, if you don’t want to wait!) No more separate sites for coaching and for intuition.

It’s is gut-wrenching to approach corporate and individual clients, telling them how I have changed and grown.

What if they will say “no” to the new me?

So far, Google said “yes”. Facebook said “yes”. Oracle said “yes”.

And one of my absolutely favorite new clients: a seasoned senior-level executive, an engineer by training, who said that he will only sign on for executive coaching with me if we incorporate intuition into our sessions as well.

I have changed. I am looking for reflection of the new me in the amazing clients who are embracing this change along with me.

You have changed. What do you need to change in your environment to get the support that you need?

Send me a quick email, I’d love to hear how you have changed.


The Missing Piece

February 29, 2016 Decision-making

“Something is missing” is a sensation that is often more subtle than obvious. One may not notice a cloud slowly floating across the sky, until suddenly, it feels chilly outside. The sunshine, mostly taken for granted, is suddenly missing. There are times when it’s difficult to tell what exactly is missing in a situation. You […]

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The Real Power of Powerball

January 12, 2016 Decision-making

Did you buy a ticket for the Powerball? I  hope that you won! The chances are that you didn’t. Below are some ideas to help you get closer to your dreams, even if you didn’t win 1.3 billion dollars this time around. (Originally, the article below was posted in April of 2012, but the topic is […]

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As the Ball Drops…

December 31, 2015 Uncategorized

Dear friends, As you mark the new 2016, I wish you a peaceful, joyful, inspiring, insightful, and healthy year. I am thankful for our connection, and I deeply appreciate the opportunity to be a part of your life. Please, know that you are a part of mine, too. I read all of your emails, I […]

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What To Do When You Can’t Bullet-Proof Your Life

December 6, 2015 Decision-making

This post was originally written in December of 2012, immediately after the Sandy Hook Elementary School shooting in Connecticut. Unfortunately, it is just as relevant today as it was in 2012. ***** How do you construct a building so that it doesn’t fall if an airplane hits it? This safety question is prominently on the map now, […]

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3 Things That Will Change Your Life

November 25, 2015 Gut Feeling

I recently gave a talk at Google’s NYC office on Intuition and Creativity. Developing intuition is a practice, much like mastering a musical instrument, so I was a bit surprised by the following question that several participants brought up: is there a tool that I could demonstrate and teach in under 10 minutes that would […]

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What Do You Believe?

October 12, 2015 Am I Good Enough?

How do you distinguish between what you know, and what you believe? What is the difference between a fact and an opinion? While knowledge is a compilation of facts, information, and one’s experience, belief is an acceptance of something as true or false. So, technically, one can know something, but not believe in it or […]

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Waterfalls: 20 Years Ago and Now

September 7, 2015 Decision-making

Do you remember yourself in 1995? Who were you then? What interested you, what troubled you? Who did you hope you would become in 20 years? If you could say anything to yourself-20-years-ago, what would you say? 20 years ago, TLC’s song Waterfalls became the number one hit on Billboard Hot 100. Do you remember […]

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Change of Pace is Essential

August 4, 2015 Career Change

Traditionally, summer is considered break time, especially for kids. If you think about it, though, many kids are not getting a break in a traditional sense: their lives are still incredibly full with sports, classes, and all sorts of activities. What kids are getting is not a break, but a change of pace. One of […]

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